2020: Texas Gladiators

Released in 1982 Directed by Joe Diamato
Starring Al Cliver and Harrison Muller Jr.

This movie is even harder to find than 2019. In fact, it doesn't even have a page on IMDB under it's proper name, you've got to look under "2020 Freedom Fighters". So it must be good old fashioned eye candy of the Mad Max/Road Warrior aesthetic and a real bragger for collector's of drive-in schlock. Here's the lowdown: The world has been ripped apart by nuclear war and everyone basically survives in roving bands of scavenging gangs. Not just road scavenger gangs either, but a shmorgashborg of fights between kung-fu cowboys, hi-tech NWO soldiers, and horse-riding indians! The ultimate prize, control of super-fuel refinery filled to the brim with gasoline. Expect tricked out buggies, snarling fascists, bad hair, big guns, and bigger tits.


buy it at cultaction.com

2019: After the Fall of New York

Released in 1983 Directed by Sergio Martino
Starring Michael Sopkiw, Valentine Monnier, and George Eastman.

A guilty pleasure of 80s action movies, and hard to find. The year is 2019 and apparently there's only one fertile woman left on the planet, and of course she's in New York City (Where else would she be?). A mercenary is hired by the 'Rebel Federation' to bust into New York, fend off the evil 'Euraks', and rescue the last good pussy on Earth. In other words, it's a movie that any self-respecting apocalypse fan should want in their collection.

Just don't expect an epic. In the beginning, there's a road war battle that has some pretty cool moments, but don't ask yourself why no one in the crowd got shot from all the random gunfire flying in every direction. Smoke a bowl and suspend your disbelief. 

The rest of the movie goes by pretty quick, only 90 minutes, There's some good shots of old beat up Bronx but overall it's a movie that seems to have been a bit rushed by it's own meager budget and ends up rather forgettable.

20 Years After

Released in 2008 Directed by jim Torred
Starring Joshua Leonard, Azura Skye, and Nathan Baesel.


It's been twenty years since plague ripped humanity to shreds. It's been 15 years since a baby was born with any success. Now, this young mother finds herself the target of every scumbag in town. They want her baby, for what, who's to say? But she must escape, her only friend a crafty radio Deejay who guides her through the tunnels of the underground. An incredibly original story in a most diluted genre.

12 Monkeys

Released in 1995 Directed by Terry Gilliam
Starring Brad Pitt, Madeline Stowe, and Bruce Willis.

Inspired by an older film "La Jetee", this is one of the most popular Post-Apocalypse (PA) movies of the last twenty years. In the year 2035 Bruce Willis is a convict who gets a chance at redemption. If he just hops in this trusty new time machine and travels to the year 1996, maybe he can find out what has caused the plague that's wiped out most of the human population and driven the survivors underground. If he can stop it, he saves the world and gets a pardon. Of course, time machines aren't exempt from Murphy's Law, and Bruce Willis has never had the best luck with 'plans' to begin with (remember Die Hard?). So the meta-physical wonder sends him back six extra years to 1990, and everyone decides he's a nutjob and locks him up. Great. As if stopping an apocalyptic plague isn't hard enough. Now he's got to get to the right year, and with the help of a sexy doctor (Stowe), follow a trail of clues left by crazy graffiti spraying radicals. Sound fun? See for yourself.

What makes this movie interesting is the journey you take with Bruce Willis as he desperately tries to do his job, while slowly descending into a mental flux, a madness where he can no longer tell which time is now and which then is real. He shows more range in this film than most, his tough guy persona barely keeping him alive through his blundering confusion, blind rage, and sinking apathy. Bradd Pitt plays an erratic looney toon who befriends Willis in the nuthouse, and proceeds to steal every one of his scenes. It's the kind of movie that keeps you going and keeps getting better towards the end, letting you piece together just enough to uphold the suspense as you wait to see everything play out. Well written and well cast, it's popular for a reason.

4:44 Last Day on Earth

Released in 2001 Directed by Abel Ferrara
Starring Willem Dafoe, Shanyn Leigh, Natasha Lyonne.

Ah, Willem DaFoe. The creepy smile of "Platoon", the throbbing sexual rib of "Antichrist". He's one of those actors that makes any movie intriguing just to know he's in it. And he's quite in this one. He's a painter, and lucky enough to spend the last day on Earth with Shanyn Leigh, an actress who spends most of the movie with Willem's hand up her everything. If you ever thought about how you'd want to spend the last day on Earth (And if you're on this blog, you surely have), there's little doubt that a sexual fantasy or five ran through your dirty mind. Well grab the popcorn, grab the family, and ditch the shame. Willem is here to get down for you.

9

Released in 2009 Directed by Shane Acker
Starring Elijah Wood, Jennifer Connelly, Crispin Glover.

This is the kind of film that really makes you feel like you're watching something special. It's the kind of film you can easily call a film, and not just another action-packed PA movie. Based entirely on the dark vision of a short film written by Shane Acker, it's a visually stunning and moody trip inside a world that's so wonderfully detailed, you'll find yourself forgetting to blink lest you miss another turn.

The main character is called 9, the last of nine dolls created by a lone genius who watched the world end, leaving these small living dolls as humanity's last hope against the robots who wiped everyone out. If that's not gothic enough, Tim Burton produced the film, tipping it right over into that dark special place where your mouth opens just a bit more, your eyes push forward, and you somehow feel the most intense empathy for each character, in fact, more empathy than you'll probably feel for any movie on this page. The animation is astounding, the colors engulf you like a warm but itchy blanket of cool gloom, and the manner of expressions accomplished through characters with only buttons for eyes is worth an award in itself. It's like Wall-E meets the Corpse Bride.
I highly recommend buying the DVD, because you'll surely want to play this more than once.

28 Days/Weeks Later

"28 Days Later" Released in 2002 Directed by Danny Boyle
"28 Weeks Later" released in 2007 Directed by Juan Carlos Fresnadillo
Starring Cillian Murphy, Naomie Harris, and Christopher Eccleston; and Jeremy Renner, Rose Byrne, Robert Carlyle, respectively.

One easy to remember rule in these movies: Everything shitty starts with someone else's good intentions. In this case, a bunch of animal lovers bust into a lab to 'free' the captive monkeys who would obviously lead a better life wandering the streets of London. Little do they know the monkeys are all infected with a highly contagious virus that makes people go totally ape. yea, like zombies, crazy, homicidal, like Stephen King's "Cell". our protagonist wakes up four weeks later from a much deserved nap to find most of London devoid of life. Apparently the rest of the city agreed to politely move away and let the monkeys have the city. Nah, they just went bezerk and killed each other, and now our man must fight for his own life with the help of a beautiful girl who never shows her tits because this was made in the squeemish American Hollywood of 2002 and not 1982.

28 Weeks picks up five months later after the infected have been cleared from the city and everyone just can't wait to move back in, including a man who's been carrying the virus without knowing it. It's like watching the first movie, but you're seeing everything that happened during our friend's nap; that is, people going nuts and ripping each other apart. This time without the monkeys to help. Too bad.